Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Paws...not claws!

For those of you that don't know me... I am somewhat of a neurotic picker.
When I was little I was a total nail biter... I never had pretty nails...always hurting ones.
I started getting my nails done when I was 15 years old.
That is 23 years ago...
I have acrylic nails longer...
than I have really needed a bra...
than I have been able to drive...
than I have known Caylor...
than I was in school (from pre-school to my bachelor's degree...)
Even right after I was married and we were poor white trash...
I had fake fingernails.
I would clean my sister's house and mop her floor so she would do my nails... I was a creative bargaining- bartering - fake nail addict.
I hold my pen like a complete idiot because of my nails...
violin? No...had fingernails.
Piano? No.. I had fingernails. ( although, I did take for years and years, but never learned the bottom hand)
Every once and a while I would achieve great satisfaction by biting them all off.(Usually during church or a long car drive.)
If there was any amount of lifting I would pry those little suckers off!
My fingers throbbing and my cuticles thrashed... I would head to my nail girl for my fix.
Last week on the way home from St. George, Caylor heard me cracking away at my hands and just rolled his eyes... he knew what was happening.
I was taking off the nails. It was okay because I was going to see Chalyce the next day.
A strange thing happened... I felt liberated! I cancelled my appointment, postponing it for a week. I was torn, because Chalyce is one of my most favorite people on Earth and she is cheap therapy... how am I going to see her? What will become of my life?
I cancelled the next appointment and am kind of freed from acrylic. My hands have stopped throbbing somewhat and the cuticles are kind of healing.
Maybe I don't need nails for medicinal purposes!
I don't know how long this will last... but I have paws instead of claws.
I can type, text, & play my izits game on my itouch.
I can't pick real zits, scrub my hair or tickle .
I was usually a white tip french manicure type girl...
but right now I am sporting black, short, Adam Lambert type nails...and
I love them!
Meg thinks I am a goth because I wear black every day and have black nails.
Maybe I will experiment with white foundation, lots of black liner, and a wardrobe from Hot Topic.... first the hair, then the 20 year high school reunion, and now no nails...
I must be having a mid-life crisis!

16 comments:

tammy said...

Well, there are worse mid-life crises you could have.

Can you believe I've never had mine done? Something about them freaks me out. Plus I'd probably have to be released from the organist....which might not be a bad thing. I don't feel like I fit the mold of the church organist.

Melissa said...

Okay, what's funny is I JUST took mine off about a week ago! I go back and forth, but have found if I religiously push back my cuticles and rub in Burts Bees cuticle cream every night, I can keep them fairly nice.

I did it to show Splenda I could be a thrifty girl so he'd pay for my eyes.....we all do what we can right? I tried showing him the good boob, and while he was happy about that, it wasn't enough.

The Patrona said...

Oh the places your new fingernails will go....to Broadway theater for cheap girlfriend therapy!

I wish I could understand, but I don't ever wear "artificial enhancements". I'm saving up for the motherload of artificial enhancements...

Martha H. said...

I, too, was a nail biter. I got fake nails for awhile, and believe it or not - totally cured me of the nail biting. I used to get my nails long. Now, with my own nails, I can't stand to have them long and I'm always cutting them off. It's fabulous. I'm so glad you're enjoying them.

Cadance said...

how funny...I was the same way...then when we moved away from Vegas and my Most Favorite Nail girl....I could just not go anywhere else...so i stopped having them done...and surprisingly...I love my natural nails! I do miss being able to open plastic packages with my sharp corners on my nails...but I have scissors so..that works too! =)

Kami said...

Bravo I say! Good for you! We all have fake something...nails, eyelashes, tan or boobs. I bet it is feeing.

Mindi said...

WHY CAN'T I FIND THIS BREAKTHOUGH MOMENT??

i was witness to the black, adam lamberts and i thought they looked very hip and stylish.

i've been back and forth about it lately, but i've decided that my vietnamese woman, hong, really needs my friendship and moral support.....

and sometimes i need 'you want flowahhh on toe?'

The Garden of Egan said...

I love the look of long nails. We aren't allowed to have them at work...sniffle. But I love looking at them. I get a pedicure and go nuts with toenail polish. Not sure I'll ever do the black thing though. You really should post a picture of your liberated nails.

Mandi said...

Your honesty cracks me up! I had nails on for 9 years, through high school and college. When I went to cosmetology school and had to have my hands in water all the time they popped off daily. I learned how to do them myself, but just decided they were too hard on my nails. I still love to go get a good manicure pretty often. I bet your nail tech will miss you!

tiburon said...

That one fingernail in the picture looks WAY off.

I am not a big nail girl.

But I can totally help you with your new goth look.

Lemme know ;)

Vanessa said...

Maybe now that you can text, you will respond to mine :)

Suzie said...

I said good-bye to acrylics a few months ago really to save money. Now my nails are strong, short and sometimes I like them dark purple.
I feel so, so...awesome.

Meet you at Hot Topic?

Susie Q said...

Solar Oil is great for your cuticles. You might have to call around to find it, but once you do...read the ingredients then make your own. For the cost of a large bottle of it, you can buy the ingredients to make at LEAST a half dozen bottles. I did that and had them in each bathroom, my purse, work and my bedside table.

michelle said...

I'm not sure how I just stumbled upon your blog, but I did! I just saw and read your hair cut post, and I love your new hair! I have no idea what it looked like before, but I think it looks fabulous! I recently chopped my hair off too, and its a daily like/dislike relationship! Some days I LOVE it and think it makes me look older (because I"m 28 and look 16. For real. Go look at my pictures on my blog). I hope you get used to and enjoy your new sassy do!

Cole said...

So I'm not the only one that occasionaly obsessively chews off the acrylic? I haven't had mine for alomst four weeks and my appointment is thurs. I can't wait. I feel naked........

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